The 13 Worst Things About Being Pregnant

The 13 Worst Things About Being Pregnant

FIRST TRIMESTER

The "What Do I Drink at Happy Hour?" Problem: it's before you can take a test but after the sperm might have met the egg. Do you go for the pinot or keep it safe and order a soda? Wait, are you even allowed to have caffeine?

"Morning Sickness": which should be called "all-day sickness." Or "hell." You wake up, you throw up. You go to lunch, you throw up. You go to bed...and get up to throw up.

The Only Food Odor That Doesn't Make You Wanna Hurl Is That of a Tuna Sandwich: or of sushi. Or of a turkey sub. Or all those things that the baby books say you aren’t supposed to be eating.

Sex Dreams About Judge Judy: they are disturbing, and they happen. Pregnancy hormones cause all sorts of weird, extremely vivid dreams that are impossible to forget—even though you definitely want to.

SECOND TRIMESTER

Having Nothing to Wear: your regular clothes don't fit, but your lack of a discernable bump means your maternity skirt falls down in front of your coworkers. During a meeting.

Not Having Shaved Your Legs—or Hoo-Ha—in Who Knows How Long: in fact, it's been so much time since you've been able to see your lady parts, you probably couldn't identify them in a lineup.

THIRD TRIMESTER

 Your Guy Telling You You're Waddling; The Video Components of Your Prenatal Classes; Your OB Mentioning Your Due Date Coincides with Her Family Reunion; and Peeing Your Pants